This video can not be played 'I want to play for mum' – Arsenal's Cooney-Cross

Arsenal's Emirates Stadium will be full of noise when midfielder Kyra Cooney-Cross steps on to the pitch this Sunday to face Crystal Palace. But there will be one important person missing from the crowd: her mother, Jess. The Australia midfielder will play at the stadium for the first time since losing her mum to cancer two months ago. It is something she says she has been taking "one day at a time".

"I know mum would want me here playing and training," she told BBC Sport. "And I want to play for the fans as well, to say thank you to them. But it's mixed emotions. Game days are very emotional for me now. They mean a lot more. I would say I'm excited, but it's also going to be an emotional day. I want to play and I want to play for her as well and for the fans."

Cooney-Cross's mum was diagnosed with stage four cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive form of bile duct cancer, in January of this year. She passed away seven months later, in July, at the age of just 45.

"She was a beautiful human and I want to carry her with me on and off the pitch," said Cooney-Cross. The Australia international credits her mother's sacrifices for helping shape her football career. She added: "Mum was a single mum of four girls. Growing up, she was driving me four times a week to train in Melbourne, an hour and a half each way. We barely had money for fuel. I don't even know half of the sacrifices she's made. I want to carry her in everything I do and how I am and how I play. Because she was honestly amazing."

Cooney-Cross, who is the eldest of four sisters, describes being told that her mum had terminal cancer just after Christmas as the moment her world changed "forever". The phone call from her stepdad was made even more difficult by the fact she was in England at the time, having decided not to travel home for the holidays. Upon hearing the diagnosis, the 24-year-old took the "next flight home" and an indefinite period of compassionate leave from football to spend her mother's final months by her side.

"That time at home was something I definitely needed. Being able to be at home and slow down, be present and being with my mum was the most important thing," she said. "Being able to be there with her over the last six months and then that last week, it's sad, but I think we also need to think of it as a beautiful thing as well. My mum was truly something special."

Before signing for Arsenal, Cooney-Cross played for Hammarby IF in the Swedish Damallsvenskan. Cooney-Cross is one of Australia's brightest stars. She broke into the international side at 19 and has made 63 appearances, starting all seven matches at the home World Cup in 2023.

She says continuing to train back home while spending time with her family was a welcome distraction from the emotional situation she was facing. "I was training Monday to Friday on the pitch with a one-on-one coach and then I had a gym facility as well," she said. "I did it because it was also an escape. I felt more free and like I could escape from everything that was going on off the pitch. I also did it because I knew that's what mum would want and I wanted to come back this season and be as fit as possible."

Returning to football after six months away from the game is a daunting prospect for any athlete, but the midfielder says Arsenal's care for her during her time away was "amazing". Head coach Renee Slegers and director of women's football Claire Wheatley checked in regularly, while team-mates Alessia Russo and Taylor Hinds have also been huge emotional supports for her.

"That's when you need people and those that love you and care about you will be there for you," said Cooney-Cross. "I was sad to leave my family, but at the same time, I also felt ready to come back. I had to bite the bullet. I'm so glad I did because honestly everyone has been so amazing. I've been distracted, I've been supported and it's been a really smooth transition. I've got good people around me."

Cooney-Cross was an unused substitute in Arsenal's opening game of the season against Brighton. The last time her mum saw her play football was at the Emirates, and the midfielder hopes to make her proud when she returns to the stadium this weekend.

"She was always the best at sending messages and I read this one [text] message before every game. The way she writes is so beautiful. I think a lot about how I go about life. I think about what she would say or do. A lot of my purpose is because of her and my drive, but even more so now. I just want to play and do really well for her and bring joy into the sadness of my family."